Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize