What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
