he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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