Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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