i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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