you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
