it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
