'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
