fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She announced her abortion via fbk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
