I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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