She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
