I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
