do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
These tits shall not be calmed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
