dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i believe in u and ur pee
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize