I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Did you pee in the oven last night??
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
