Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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