Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
