Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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