I CAN MOONWALK!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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