I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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