i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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