who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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