Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
