That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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