i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize