Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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