Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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