After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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