So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
