Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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