It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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