please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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