just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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