I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize