Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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