Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
