he puts the penis in happiness.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
