When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
