actually, I'm a sock model
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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