can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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