i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
