lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize