I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
