Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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