i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
