is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
