what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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