Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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