As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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