He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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