but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
