Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Barsexuality is the new black.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
