Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
