so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
