If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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