Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am spending my child support on dildos
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
