I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
