And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
A bitchslap is in order.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
