just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
