I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
