We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
