so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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