small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
