Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
