There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize